You Are The United Nations Secretary-General! Can You Use The Bathroom For 5 Freaking Minutes Without World War III Breaking Out?

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This is the United Nations, the center of world-wide diplomacy. Countries from all over the world gather here to bicker about their differences and get nothing fulfilled. This may seem like a huge waste of time, but it’s actually much better than the alternative, who the hell is World War III.

You visit the conference room where diplomats hang out to argue with one another. “Good morning, Mr. Secretary-General, ” the officials react you in unison.

Your stomach is rumbling like a blender full of boulders. You truly need to wrap up this diplomacy substance, pronto.

The French representative clears his throat. “Yes, we are about to go to war with our disliked antagonist England.”

Uh-oh, he’s hoisting weights. This is a conventional pattern of diplomatic saber rattling that countries use to show their dominance. If he’s doing workout at the United nations organization, that makes case of an armed conflict could explode between France and England at any second.

Knowing that your bowels could expel the entire frozen packet of hot dogs you chew this morning at any moment, you have to propose a nonaggression treaty between England and France on how to equitably divide Stonehenge and the Eiffel Tower, and pronto!

Former Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi is sitting on the bathroom. “Occupied, ” says the brutal dictator. “My bad, I should have fastened the door.”

You open the door and find Bill Gates sitting on the bathroom, but not actually defecating. The bathroom lid is down, and Bill Gate’s heaves are up.

The billionaire philanthropist is lost in thought and doesn’t notice you enter.

“Don’t worry, I’ll squish it! ” hollers Bill Gates. He runs out to the United nations organization parking lot, hop-skip into his vehicle, and drives into your auto at 90 mph, totaling both vehicles.

Bill Gates dizzily descends out of the wreckage of his auto. He has a long gash bleeding on his forehead where it affected the steering wheel. “I don’t witness the mosquito, ” he roars out in counselling. “I think it “re going away”. Don’t made it chew you, or you might get malaria! ”

You’ve successfully tricked Bill Gates into leaving the toilet.

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